


Crashers

by Lindzzz



Series: The Evil Boyfriends Series [13]
Category: Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Christmas, Humor, Jack and Pitch face their greatest horror yet, M/M, Parties, other pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-03
Updated: 2013-05-03
Packaged: 2017-12-10 06:17:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/782788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lindzzz/pseuds/Lindzzz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which the party don't start till they walk in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crashers

Christmas parties were a new but growing tradition with the Guardians.  It was part of an effort to expand communication, something which had become more and more necessary with the arrival of The Troublemakers.

And it was the best night for all of them.  North had delivered all his gifts Christmas Eve, children weren't paying attention to lost teeth, people were making their own happy dreams and Easter was far enough away that Bunnymund could enjoy himself.

They can actually RELAX.  It's a generally calm event.  The eggnog flows freely and Bunnymund is excitedly telling the story of some particularly good egghunts earlier in the year.  North beams and doesn't even mention that it's HIS holiday that lets them do this.

He'll bring it up later though.

Bunnymund is in the middle of his story, eyes bright and grinning excitedly as he gets to The Good Part.

He's interrupted by a rushing sound and a loud crash from a nearby closet mainly used by the elves.

The mood shifts instantly, Tooths feathers ruffle and they all fall silent, weapons slowly coming out as they watch the closet door.

" _Ow!_ " A voice voice hisses, barely above a whisper.  "Get your elbow out of my face!"

North blinks and lowers his swords as more shuffling noises and muttered apologies drift out from the closet.

"Jack-?"  He starts, only to get shushed by Sandy.  The sandman holds a finger up to his mouth, grinning widely.

"Pitch..." Jack continues, voice still a rushed whisper, "where the hell are we?"

"You said you wanted in the Workshop, we're in the workshop." Pitch is less concerned with quiet, his voice comes out calm and low.  The Guardians all bristle at the sound, even though Pitch doesn't seem too focused destruction at the moment.

"Keep your voice down!  I wanted in the cellar.  This isn't a cellar!  Ow!  Watch where you're putting your knees, God!"

"I don't know where the cellar is!  You gave horrible directions!"

"Shut up just shut up!  Where are we?"

"Can't tell you, I'm shutting up."

There's a dull wacking sound followed by an angry hiss.  Bunny's staring at the door looking downright affronted while Tooth barely muffles her laughter behind her hand.

"Fine!"  Pitch snaps, "since you're apparently BLIND-"

"I can't see in the dark you ass!"

"-and unable to come to any conclusions of your own,"  Pitch goes on loudly, ignoring the frantic hushing, "we're probably in some cleaning supply closet.  Judging by the half eaten cookies everywhere..."

"Gross."

"Indeed, it's probably used by the elves.  We're going to have to think of what to do when they start showing up or the little creatures will alert the whole damn shack that we're here."

Tooth nearly breaks down at that and barely muffles a snort with her hands, Sandy grins and winks at her.  
  
There’s a moment of silence from the closet while Jack seems to think over this dilemma.  The Guardians stay silent and listen with growing interest.  
  
“Hey...” Jack’s voice is lower now, and they can almost hear the growing grin in it.  “Wanna see how many of the elves I can freeze before the Wonder Brigade notices?”  
  
North tenses at that, smile disappearing.  There’s another pause, this one heavier while Pitch considers it.  
  
And they can DEFINITELY hear the maniacal glee in in his voice.  
  
“ _Yes._ ”  
  
North decides that that is QUITE enough and huffs as he goes over to the door. There needs to be an intervention before the two actually start letting loose on the Workshop.  
  
He marches over and yanks the door open with a huge, toothy grin.  
  
There’s a small explosion of movement as Jack and Pitch both jump at the same time and end up slamming into the various shelves and propped brooms, both freezing while cleaning supplies crash around them.  
  
They can hardly fit in the cramped closet.  Pitch is half bowed over and coiled over Jack, who’s crumpled up against the tall man’s sternum.  Both have their various limbs tangled about and both stare out at the assembled Guadians with twin sets of bugged eyes.  
  
“Oh _shit_ ,”  Jack hisses, “It’s the police!”  
  
Pitch shakes himself out of his shock to frown down at Jack.  “The what-!?”  
  
“Nevermind!”  Jack yelps, “Just go-”  
  
“Welllll we have visitors!”  North booms, reaching in and ignoring the indignant and enraged yelps and hisses as he grabs both intruders roughly by the back of the neck.  
  
Neither of them can hurt him while they’re in his own home, that and the fact that both are a couple of twigs makes it far too easy to haul them out and hold them by their scruffs.  
  
Jack is the first to recover and puts on his most charming grin, which is impressive given the large hand around his neck.  
  
Pitch, on the other hand, flails wildly and lets out the strangest variety of vicious hisses North has ever heard.  The large man raises his eyebrows while he holds the spitting and snarling Nightmare King out at arms length.  
  
“Heeeyyyy North!”  Jack says, sounding a little strained through his bright smile, “Merry Christmas!”  
  
“Unhand me!”  Pitch shrieks.  North gives Pitch a little shake and then turns to Jack in his other hand.  
  
“Ahhh Jack! This is surprise!”  
  
“The hell are you two doing here?”  Bunnymund snaps.  
  
“Oh, you know.”  Jack says easily, “Just wanted to see what all the party was about.  You know me and fun!”  
  
“This little idiot decided he wanted to raid your cellar!”  Pitch snarls.  
  
“You SNITCH!”  Jack gasps, smile gone, “If you had actually managed to get us where we were supposed to go...this is your fault!”  
  
“My fault!?”  Pitch’s voice goes up a dangerous octave and he flails his arms, trying to wrench himself out of North’s grip to strangle Jack.  “MY fault!?  This was your idea!”  
  
“You said you could do it!”  Jack yells.  
  
“Gentleman, Gentleman please!”  North says complacently, tightening his grip just slightly and smiling brightly when both miscreants yelp and sputter.  “This is not season for such fighting!”  
  
“I don’t think they have much Christmas spirit!”  Tooth says cheerfully.  Jack cranes his head enough to stare at her with wide eyes, looking betrayed.  
  
Sandy smiles and waves at both of them.  
  
“Ah you are right!”  North booms, giving them another shake when Pitch tries to claw at his arm.  “They do not look nearly festive enough!”  
  
Jack’s eyes somehow grow bigger, “No! No, what?? What are you- I’m snow and bright sparkling ice!  I’m festive!  I’m super festive!”  
  
Pitch looks like someone who was just told they were going to be skinned alive.  
  
“No!”  He yells, “Don’t you dare!  Cossack!  Put me down!”  He bares his fangs, which are useless in North’s home, “I’ll find all your worst Nightmares North!  Everything you’ve ever been afraid of!”  
  
North beams at him,  “Ah my friend, I would be more concerned with YOUR fears hm?”  
  
Several elves skip out trailing garlands and tinsel and shining baubles and ornaments.  
  
Pitch screams.  
  
The Workshop explodes into a frenzied chaos.  The air is filled with enraged hisses and shrieks, bursts of blue frost and desperate yelling.  Ornaments are smashed and several elves end up getting bitten as the legendary Nightmare King goes absolutely feral.

Jack is the first to gain freedom and goes shooting at Pitch, trailing tinsel and frantically beating glitter off of his clothes.  He throws his hand out desperately as he zooms over where North and Bunnymund are keeping Pitch captive and tied in yards and yards of tinsel.  “Pitch!  Come on come on come on!!”  
  
Pitch flails and manages to worm a hand loose, swiping and snarling when Sandy gets too close, and grabs onto Jacks hand.  “GET ME OUT OF HERE SO WE CAN GO HOME AND I CAN **KILL YOU**!”  
  
Jack doesn’t acknowledge the threat, he just clings to Pitch’s hand and bolts, dragging them both to the nearest shadow in the workshop.  He practically throws Pitch into it and launches himself into his friends arms.  “Go go go gogogogo!”  
  
Pitch jerks both of them into the shadows, vanishing with a snarl and taking a box worth of ornaments, countless yards of garland, a pound of tinsel, a particularly ornate star topper and a lifetime's worth of glitter with them.  
  
North surveys the damage left in their wake and bursts into laughter.  
  
“Aahh we should invite them maybe next time, yes?”


End file.
